6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
