Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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