I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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