i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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