I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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