think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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