4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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