we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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