His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
