I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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