so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize