fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
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