you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize