I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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