You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
