hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
