Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
