My cat gives me a boner
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
