ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
