My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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