If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
