So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
