I am puke
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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