Nicole vs. Life
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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