I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
