I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im six kinds of drunk right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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