it wasn't lemon gatorade
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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