Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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