If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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