i already hear my dad disowning me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
