I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize