just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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