I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The power of my boobs compel you
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize