I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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