dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
