He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
