So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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