He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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