his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
