she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
