i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
