sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
