My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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