He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
