I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
