Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
