So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
