I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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