you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
