i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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