Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
