I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
