my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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