Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
