That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
